Hurt Pride
by RandomDarkness
Summary: After losing Godric, and even worse his little display of weakness, Eric wants to break something. But when Sookie's bleeding heart brings her to his door... maybe he'll fix something instead.


**An old stand alone that I found in my files the other day. Never went anywhere but I thought I'd throw it out there. I kinda like it.**

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It was late... or early, depending on your blood pressure. It would make him sick but there was no way for Eric to sleep, not now. Godric was gone, his maker and his friend (not that he thought that particular word). Almost worse than that was the shame of his own outburst in front of the human, in front of Sookie. He cultivated his image, his persona, very carefully – had done so since before he was dead and a part of him was unbearably angry with his maker for destroying that façade. There would be no way to get it back now, no amount of twilight or weak human vision could hide a vampires tears, she'd seen...

The way she'd looked at him, the pity made him ill and yet... somehow the forgiveness behind the pity seemed almost... nice. He hated that too. What did it matter that the human forgave him in his pain? That she was a 'better' person than he? He'd wouldn't have forgiven he'd have... he'd have... he'd have begged another man to stay, he'd have cried and humbled himself and made himself look a fool. He should kill someone. Now, before she could think about it too much! Kill someone and make it painful, slow, sadistic and heartless so she forgot and could never look at him like that again! Pity. Its not that he was above pity, sometimes it's good for business to let something slide, to build loyalty by appearing benevolent. But pity was something bestowed on the weak by the strong, not a gift from a human girl to the Sheriff of area 5!  
Something must break, and it must break now! Eric stood from the edge of the bed and hauled his shirt of, angrily using it to wipe away the blood on his face. On his way to the door it was thrown impotently into the corner. He pulled at the door so hard it threatened to give – and he had every intention of finding the first useless thing and demolishing it completely... but she was there.

Sookie jumped, one hand still raised and ready to knock – she looked comical, blinking in amazement as the door seemed to tear itself open as though sick of waiting for her to go through with the act of knocking. He stared at her. _Kill_ he thought angrily, _maim, drain and forget_! But of course he wouldn't do that. Above all other things she was just to valuable – to rare a treasure to be wasted on his rage.

"What?" He demanded, painfully aware of his humiliation, his weakness.  
"I... I don't know I just..." her head tilted to one side, she'd been crying too he noticed and wondered at it, though it seemed only natural that the world should share his pain and suffering. "I stayed and..." without warning she was crying, great tearing sobs as though her own father had died and with nowhere else to go she put her head on his chest, ignoring or simply not noticing the fact that he didn't hold her. Something inside her had broken at the poetic, exquisite pain of it all. The injustice. Godric had been kind, and honest and sincere, all she had wanted was to sit with him and have him explain his beautiful vision of the world to her.

She kept hearing a line from that song over and over in her head 'this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you'. Even worse had been Eric's face – his despair at it. She hated him so much, soooo much she could hardly breathe though it, dirty, stinking, manipulative bastard and yet his pain was hers. His loss and sorrow, so bare and unavoidable made it impossible to call him names, to hit him or scream at him like she'd wanted too. He was an asshole and he'd hurt her and she knew, just knew, he'd ruin her life, but damn her bleeding little heart she'd taken it all into herself and now she felt like she was being pulled apart from the inside.  
She wasn't particularly attractive when she cried, Eric noticed. Red nose, puffy eyes and the make-up was making everything that much worse. Crying humans were to be avoided, disdained and possibly even laughed at. Her pain so perfectly mirrored his, however, and that was no laughing matter. Finally, after a long time (at least to a vampire) he lifted his arms and held her.  
"He was not alone," he said softly into her hair, "I owe you for that."  
He would not cry. He was a warrior, a vampire and a sheriff. His one concession to emotion was to sniff slightly and shake his head to clear it of the fog of his own misery. Sookie looked up at him through her dishevelled hair and wiped her eyes with the back of one hand.  
"We all lost somethin' today, I want you to know, I know that." she put her forehead against his chest for one last unladylike sniff and then seemed to pull herself together. Her rapidly returning calm made it easier for Eric to gain control of himself – misery feeds misery after all. "He wanted me to look after you,"  
"And will you?" he asked quietly, in that deep, almost glamouring voice – God-damn him!  
"I..."  
His arms, still about her shoulders tightened slowly, the motion of his entire body seemed hypnotic, his face closing in to blot out everything else so slow and deliberate it was almost like it was happening to someone else. Someone who didn't mind...  
"Eric..." she breathed, trying to object, _please, please don't_... but he did.  
It was softer than she'd thought possible from him. Just breath really, he barely seemed to touch her, though his shoulders were tense and it seemed she was much closer to him than she'd been just a heartbeat before. She thrummed all over with 'first kiss' sensation and for a moment it seemed like this was exactly what she wanted... If he'd just kept kissing her, she might have forgotten all about Bill...  
Instead he pulled back, looked at her face for a moment before trying to move back to her jaw, and in that space she managed to find her mind again.  
"Please!" she squeaked and hunkered down lower in his arms to gain a bit of distance, "Please dont..."  
"You don't mean that," it wasn't a question, and damned if he wasn't right... if he didn't still look broken and pained she'd have been able to yell at him, slap him, scream for Bill, something! But he did, so she didn't...  
"Maybe I don't, but it's what I'm sayin'."  
"Sookie..."  
"Don't." It was firmer than she'd meant, or maybe not, but it stopped him. "Please Eric, please don't."  
She was crying again, and he knew he could have her if he wanted. If he pushed, just a little she would give in to him, she'd go with him back into his room and... well, it'd make him feel better. But what then? She'd be angry, upset with him and with herself. Bill would be a problem... she wanted him though and the knowledge of it was like fire! Like unbearable itching, surely he HAD to scratch, HAD to act on it... "You know that I want you," he said softly and he felt her tremble in his arms... unsure if it was pleasure or fear he made up his mind... "I'll wait."  
His arms weren't around her any more, his breath no longer burning her face and neck. She'd thought it'd be easier to breathe when he let go, but it didn't seem to be.  
"I will not force you. I will not lie, and it seems obvious to me now that..." his pause was slightly pained and the look her finally gave her was almost boyish, impish, like he'd discovered something within himself that he considered to be just a bit naughty, "once will not be enough." The hand that touched her face seemed cool, but then she had the feeling that a hot coal would seem cool against her skin at that moment, "go... when you change your mind," the pause was painful, pregnant with all the promise of the things he knew he could do to her if she'd just say yes "I will be here."  
Sookie fled, not retreated, not withdrew, fled like a startled rabbit back to her suite and the hollow comfort of Bill's sleeping arms. She was stupid and wicked and gutless and so hopelessly and in all possible ways, screwed. Was it just the blood? It must be the blood... but the things he'd said... she knew she'd have stayed. She was honest enough with herself to admit she'd have stayed if he'd pushed just a little bit. She was grateful that he hadn't, but the gratefulness just made her angry with him! She shouldn't NEED to be grateful! A decent man wouldn't put her in that situation! God damn him... and damn her too...

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End file.
